What a Wicked, Wonderful Life
by 3softrocks3
Summary: AU where Dean is a confused first grade teacher, Cas is a confused FBI agent, and they have confused feelings for each other. Includes a mysterious murder, a couch, harsh language that teachers shouldn't be using, an insane Sam, righteous government employees, and Kevin.
1. Chapter 1

The death of Meg Clarence surprised exactly no one. Meg was a troublemaker, reckless and arrogant and sleeping with whoever would take her. It was really just a matter of time, considering the people she hung out with. No, what surprised everyone was the number of FBI agents and police officers who showed up after she was found in a creek bed.

Dean Winchester was a patient man. He had to be, what with teaching a group of restless, manic first graders. And yet, he simply could not deal with the FBI agents stationed around the school. Perhaps it was the fact that they were _in the fucking school_ when they didn't need to be, Meg hadn't stepped near the school in over twenty- five years, or maybe it was because they periodically peeked into his classroom and disrupted his class. Maybe they forgot how easily distracted first-graders are. Maybe they didn't give a damn. Dean was betting on the latter.

After the seventh time (seven!), it became obvious that he was not going to get the kids to do any work.

"Don't set anything on fire while I'm gone." Dean says to the class before heading out the door.

There are three agents standing at the end of the hallway. Black suits, rigid posture, an air of superiority. He's beginning to see why his dad hated them.

"Hey!"

Two of them turn and glare. The other is on his fancy cell phone and barely glances Dean's way.

"Can we help you, sir?"

Dean rolls his eyes-probably not the best move, considering they're federal agents, but whatever. "Yeah, you can. By not interrupting my class every freaking five minutes."

"Sir, for the safety of you and the children-" one of the agents begin.

But Dean has already left.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel is not sure why he was told to pack up everything he had (several pots, two down pillows, a copy of The Bible, the necessary toiletries, the movie _It's a Wonderful Life, _and a beige trench coat) and move to Letterman, Kansas. He is not sure why he is now living in a dingy motel room that smells of cigarettes and sweat. He is not even sure what his mission is. That does not matter, though. Castiel is sure that those above him know what they're doing. And Castiel never questions his superiors.

The morning starts the way every morning starts- the alarm goes off, Castiel gets some cheap coffee, and then he and Urial (his supervisor) go and patrol certain parts of the town. Today, however, Urial stops at the Carver Edlund Elementary School and gets out.

"Sir?' Castiel asks.

"We're going to question some teachers. Stay behind me and keep your mouth shut, understand?" Uriel is a six-foot-three, two hundred and ten pound black man who works out every other day. Castiel, on the other hand, is five-foot-eleven, hardly ever goes to the gym, and looks like he never goes into the sun and was probably sick as a child. He will do exactly what his boss says.

The school is a mottled red brick that makes it look quaintly old-fashioned. The inside agrees with its exterior, boasting calm brown walls and tiny housewife windows with curtains of blue cotton. Uriel smirks.

They start with the six grade teachers. Uriel figures they'll be the toughest to crack, as they are not worn down by the younger, more hyper children. Castiel does not disagree. He lets Uriel do the talking.

He's not even sure what he would say, if he were to butt in. He still doesn't know why the FBI is investigating the death of a drunken nobody, and he can't figure out why the teachers would have any information. However, it's not his place to question orders. After the first few teachers, Castiel stops listening to Uriel, and starts watching the students. He doesn't remember much of his childhood, only that he had a father, then one day his father wasn't there and he and his eleven siblings were put into foster care soon after. It was lonely. It was cold. Castiel doesn't like to think about it.

He is pulled from his thoughts when Uriel claps a hand on his back. Castiel winces.

"This is the last stop for today, then we can all go home and get donuts." the supervisor smiles secretively, like there's this private joke that everyone knows.

Castiel smiles back tightly. "Sure."

The teacher is packing up when they walk in. He turns to face them and lets out an annoyed huff of air. "What do _you_ want?"

It's a good thing Castiel is not suppose to speak-he probably couldn't if he tried. The man is drop dead beautiful. He probably would be even more so if not for the scowl he wears. The agent tries not to stare at those perfect cheekbones, the strong jaw, the faint murmur of whiskers barely on his face. _Pull it together, Solider_, he tells himself.

"We're here inquiring about the murder of Meg Clarence." Uriel says.

"Yeah, so?"

Uriel raises an eyebrow. "How long have you worked here, _Mr. Winchester?_

The teacher raises his eyebrow back. "About six years, Chuckles."

"My name is-"

Mr. Winchester put his hand out. "Look, I don't really give a damn what your name is. I know absolutely fucking nothing about this homicide that everyone saw coming, and I've got a stack of papers to grade, so would you kindly shove off now so I can go home? K, thanks." He grabs a black messenger bag and heads to the door.

"How's your brother Sam doing these days?" The Winchester stops. Uriel grins.

"Such a shame a nice boy like that has to be put in an asylum. Such a waste of...talent. Your brother, he was quite smart yes?"

The man whirls around. "You leave him out of this. He has nothing to do with your little investigation."

Uriel glides up to him, like a cat watching a canary. "But Dean, it has _everything_ to do with this case. Everything. Which is why you're going to sign some papers so I can visit him."

"And why the fuck would I let a low-life like you talk to him?" Dean spits out.

"Because, if you don't, I can have a lot of inconvenient things happen to your brother. People with schizophrenia that severe, why, they could do themselves a lot of harm if not watched over, don't you agree?"

Dean grits his teeth. Castiel has no real idea what going on here, or how Uriel knows any of this, but he does has a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. It lasts after Dean finally signs the papers in defeat, after Urial drives him to the motel room, and stays with him til he falls asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone following this story! There are so many of you (at least, for me)! Just wanted to say thanks for giving this little experiment a chance.**

Principal Ellen Harvelle tries to rub out the headache slowly growing by her temple. It's been a long day, and she finds herself itching for a good strong scotch. Unfortunately, she has a very pissed off teacher currently yelling at her secretary, Jo. Jo, who is also her daughter. She needed the extra money, apparently, but Ellen still hasn't got used to working with her child. Preparing for the coming storm, she nods at Jo and waves the teacher in.

Dean Winchester storms in, his face set rigid in anger. Ellen holds one hand up, stopping the rant she knows is coming.

"Yes, I gave the FBI permission to be here. No, I'm not going to send them away, no matter what you say. They're government agents, Dean."

He sighs and slumps down into the chair across from her. "They're going to question Sam."

"Well it isn't a big stretch-"

"He did not murder that girl, Ellen!" shouts Dean, suddenly rising. "Hell, you know he isn't the violent type!"

A movement behind the Winchester catches Ellen's eye. She clears her throat, and leans over.

"Hello, Kevin." She smiles at the tense student teacher. "What can we do for you?"

He tugs at his shirt and doesn't smile back. "Umm...I just wondered, um Mr. Winchester if I could...um," He bits his lip and points at the door hesitantly.

Ellen looks at Dean questioningly. He rubs a hand over his face and mumbles to his intern, "Yeah, sure Kevin, you can go. Say hi to your mother for me."

Kevin Tran breathes a sigh of relief. "Thanks Mr. Winchester!" He calls as he leaves the office.

Ellen leans over her desk and motions for Dean to sit back down. "I know." she whispers in response to his earlier question. "But considering your childhood and...everything, it is natural for them to be curious. That's all I'm saying."

Dean squares his jaw and looks out the window behind her.

"Look," the principal takes his hand gently. He stares at her in surprise. "I know it has been hard on you since the accident. Why don't you come over tonight? Jo is making spaghetti." As he starts to look away again she adds, "It'd be a needed break for all of us."

Dean tries to shrug nonchalantly but it's clear by his strained voice he's holding back tears. "Okay."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello! Sorry this took me so long to write! Please note that I am not an expert in schizophrenia, mental asylums, or the inner workings of the FBI. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

The mental asylum lurks at the edge of town, like a strange relative that you're ashamed to be related to. Whoever designed it must have thought white was a calming and healing color, for it is _everywhere_. Castiel almost has to squint from all the whiteness. A nurse is taking Urial and him to Patient 44, also known as Sam Winchester. Castiel considers asking what happened back at the school, but thinks better of it.

Urial stops in front of Patient 44's room and hands a folder to Castiel.

"Samuel Winchester, brother of Adam and Dean Winchester, born May 2, 1983. Diagnosed with

catatonic schizophrenia." Urial says as Castiel looks over the file. "Symptoms first started showing up after high school, then got progressively worse. Subject was admitted to the asylum after attacking a student, Gordon Walker, who received multiple injuries."

"It says here that he's not violent." Castiel glances up questioningly. It is beyond him why Urial is telling him any of this. Usually he is just suppose to "shut up and look menacing" as Balthazar put it.

His superior rolls his eyes. "You really believe that shit? They just say that to keep guys like us off their backs."

"But-"

"Are you questioning my authority, boy? If I say the subject is violent, then he's violent, okay?"

Castiel looks down and nods meekly. It was stupid to try and argue with Urial, anyway. Urial, now looking a bit flustered, opens room 44's door and steps inside.

The agent wasn't quite sure what he was expecting Sam Winchester to look like, but it certainly wasn't this. It is obvious that he is tall, but his body is crumpled in an attempt to fit into a too small hospital bed, whose sheets are torn off and ripped at the edges. Hair falls over his gaunt face, and rests on his wide shoulders. He's fiddling with something, a locket from the looks of it. He looks up as the two FBI officers walk in.

"Mr. Winchester we're here investigating the murder of Meg Clarence you are a suspect we would like to ask you some questions," Uriel says quickly, barely taking time to flash his identification. Sam ignores him and stares at Castiel, eyes narrowed.

Uriel clears his throat. "Your father and brother died recently, is that correct? In a car crash? You have a rather tragic past, don't you, Mr. Winchester? Mr. Winchester?"

The mental patient says nothing and continues to stare at Castiel, who looks at Uriel and shrugs. His supervisor huffs angrily.

"You need to answer my questions, sir, they will assist in a murder investigation. Or should I just assume you did it?"

Suddenly Sam screams and puts his hands over his ears, fingers moving jerkily. The trench-coated agent runs to help him, but Uriel put his hand up.

"Stay put."

"But sir, he-"

"STAY PUT OR I WILL REPORT YOU!"

Castiel bows his head quickly and backs away. The other agent leans in close to Sam's face.

"What did your father tell you before he died, huh? Answer me, you little shit!" he shakes the Winchester. Castiel winces, but stays where he is. He cannot afford to lose his job. And he is sure there is a point to this, though he might not see it right now. There must be...

The mental patient, meanwhile, continues to move back and forth with his hands over his ears. His eyes dart back and forth across the room, like he is watching something.

"What. Did. Your. Father. Tell. You." spits out Uriel. "You have five seconds to answer me."

Castiel looks up in alarm. It is against protocol to threaten a suspect without cause. He begins to walk toward his supervisor, and says quietly, "Sir, perhaps we should come back another time."

"No! Just let me handle this, agent!"

That is when Dean Winchester walks in.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ooo the tension builds! I am really bad with showing flirting and attraction and stuff, so if there's anything I need to fix, please let me know! Also, reviewing is really awesome! People who review my writing make me smile! Feel free to point out my mistakes-as long as you aren't too mean. ;) Now onto the story!**

"What the hell?!" the first grade teacher shouts. A nurse is standing with him, with curly black hair and a fiery look in her eye.

"Excuse me, mister, I think it's about time for you to take your leave." she says pointedly to Uriel. He glowers at her, putting all his government given power behind it, but she merely puts a hand on his arm and nods toward at the door.

"Thanks, Missouri." Dean whispers to her as she walks by. She smiles sadly and follows Uriel out.

"Dean! Dean dean dean dean." The younger Winchester reaches his hands out towards his brother. "Dean dean dean dean."

"It's okay, Sammy, I'm here. They won't be bothering you again."

Castiel clears his throat. Dean away from his brother and glares, green eyes piercing.

"You should follow your friend." he says, standing up but keeping hold of Sam's hands.

The agent winces. "He's...he's not my friend. He's my superior, and I would like to apologize on his behalf. His conduct was unprofessional and uncalled for."

He moves as if to leave. He wishes he could say more, something that would make the intrusion reasonable. But since he himself has no idea what is going on (though pieces and parts float through his mind and beg to be added up), he merely nods apologetically and exits the room. He should have expected things to go this way. He should have seen it from the moment he stepped in Mr. Winchester's classroom.

He does not expect the hand on his shoulder, or the electric charge it sends through his body. Castiel turns around.

Dean freezes. Why the fuck did he run after this fed? He suddenly can't remember. The agent stares at him, confused and innocent-looking, and _oh. _Innocence. He looked ashamed and maybe he has information about whatever's going on around here. Right.

"Look, maybe we got of on the wrong foot." _God, his eyes are blue_.

The agent looks even more confused and freaked about then before.

"What I mean is-" Dean laughs uncomfortably, "I don't even know your goddamn _name._"

"Castiel." He says immediately, like Dean is a Drill Sargent.

Dean blinks. "Castiel." he mutters, trying out the word. "That's...exotic. So anyway, I was thinking you and me, we'd get a drink down at the bar, sort this whole mess out."

"Sort what mess out?"

_Son of a bitch, he probably thinks you're asking him out. _"You know," Dean waves vaguely around him, "This."

"Ah." says Castiel.

They stand awkwardly for a few moments.

"But I do not have a car." Castiel points out. "Uriel drove me here and now he is gone."

Dean smirks slightly. "Well, you're in luck, buster, because I've got the most bitchin' ride in town."

Castiel looks slightly bewildered and Dean shakes his head. He sure is one weird fed. "Just follow me, okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay. Um, let me just, get a nurse for-" _Stop it, Dean, you sound like a junior high girl on her first date, _"I'm just gonna- Just. Wait here." Dean dashes into room 44.

Sam smiles at him and Dean's heart breaks for a moment. "Dean dean dean dean."

"Hey, I'm gonna go talk to the nicer fed, see if I can crack him, okay?"

"Dean dean dean dean." His brother laughs.

Dean picks up the phone on the wall and calls the front office for a nurse. "Nurse Sarah's coming down soon. You alright, Sammy?"

Sam gets up and hugs his brother tightly. "Dean dean dean dean. Dean you're such an idiot sometimes. Dean. Such an idiot." He laughs again.

Dean smacks him lightly upside the head. "See ya later, bitch."

"Jerk. Dean dean dean dean."

Castiel is still waiting when Dean walks out, rigid. Dean, for reasons unknown to himself-maybe it's because the fed looks like he got a stick shoved up his ass- whacks him on the back. "Come on, let's hit the road."


End file.
